May The 5th Be With You, an Anniversary of a Right of Passage

Two years ago on this day, my son and father conducted their Bar Mitzvah service together in the Nottingham Shul that my partner David had his Bar Mitzvah in 43 years ago and where his parents are founding members.

It was a truly momentous experience, executed beautifully with gravitas and joy, honoring the intentions of my son and his grandfather, and epic in its span of generational perspectives.

Having been raised in mixed bag of religion and culture - as many Soviet emigres in Canada were -  I became a true 'Yiddisha mamma' for this occasion: planning, stressing, organising, 'kvelling' as much as was appropriate. 

Through all my spiritual seeking and global wanderings, Judaism remained ever present in my heart and soul, informing my inner map in small but significant ways..

At this juncture in 2017/18 , I was on a personal journey of deep inner transformation and soul healing which neatly and sometimes explosively coincided with Joshua's initiation into his Jewish lineage, his culture, his manhood, his understanding of the world around him.

The stars aligned and my dad in his 70th year was able to participate in a way that brought history full circle and a balancing of the scales - on an energetic level - we had perfect alignment.  The cherry on the cake.

     

I feel that Joshua's Bar Mitzvah gave him a confidence that would never come from school - and set the stage for our departure on our Heart-trip less than a year later...  He learned Torah Hebrew with grandma's help from scratch, learning in just under 2 years a Ceremony that most Jewish children start preparing for in Chedar from a young age.

 We also traveled every month from Ibiza to Nottingham to attend services - missing schooldays and football games, and parties. 
Whatever I feel about Religion (and its not negative, it just needs evolving as doesn't serve our Ascension in its current state but that's another topic ! ), I honour the original Divine texts , the mystical beauty and historical importance of Judaism,  the wisdom of oral tradition, and the need for teenagers to go through Coming of Age rituals. 

Western culture in general lacks in this area , offering only a gap year of travel to 'find oneself' for young adults that should not have 'lost themselves' to begin with




                                                                


I have always felt in my soul a daughter of Jerusalem , have explored many facets of Judaism and had my own coming of age experiences in Israel.  I studied history and religion,  anti-semitism and middle eastern politics... the 'Jewish Question' has plagued, consumed, inspired and comforted me through all of my pursuits.  The connection is real and lifelong , now experienced in a climate of  Indigenous wisdom rather than Religion.   But I told Joshua it was for him to decide as we didnt have a synagogue affiliated life - we had a connection at a home and heart level via the weekly Shabbat ritual, Pesach, Israel, and our relations.

Yehoshua Kostya ben David v' ben Shalomit decided YES with grand conviction and he rose to the occasion beautifully.  Then a few months before the event, I had the calling to invite my dad to participate and become Bar Mitzvah at the same time, to learn a few prayers and a small portion of the Torah reading so he could join his grandson on the Bima - to correct the injustice of having to hide his Judaism as a young boy in the Soviet Union, but also for the blessing of it , and the dramatic arc couldn't be discounted either!.  He humbly accepted and it became a journey of healing, return of faded memories, personal pride and the closing of circles and answers of questions long left unattended.

I wrote a lot at the time about what I was going through as well as a speech, a letter to my son, and also prayers and musings for the follow up event at home which we named the 'Ibi-Mitzvah' and deserves its own post ...
For today,  I share my speech in its original entirety (Publicly at the time, I didn't bother with the more cosmic flourishes after a 3 hr ceremony on hungry stomachs ! )  .

And beneath that I include Joshua's Drosha (sermon) ... may it all have a home online for posterity and to refer back to as I continue to paint the picture of my spiritual awakening,  my training in raising a boy being with a Golden Age compass,   and the initiations we pass through on our Conscious Family path...

Joshua playing a duet with his teacher Rafa

Tadgh and Joshua 

MY SPEECH :

          

05/05/2018

Wow that was a bit different ,  and who better to share such a momentous occasion than all of you. I am exploding with pride right now.   

this moment is beyond special

it’s a completion of a circle – I feel elevated and I hope you do too !  I’m proud of us – you all showed up and we created something special together.

Now I’m going read some stuff I wrote as I can’t wing it in this moment … like Joshua’s bar mitzvah this journey is all about pre prepping and so I too have taken time to really think about what it all means for me personally..   And like our Passovers you are going to have to wait to eat while I get over my very real fear of speaking in public because if Joshua can do it I certainly have to try .

I believe with all such occasions , like with great art 

the journey the process is what matters more than the final result 

the learning growing shedding re-learning 

It has been a bumpy ride and before I go on I must just say to David , thank you for talking me back from the cliff edge so often , we have both grown so much especially these path few months…  neither of could have known what this journey entailed when we signed up it – or we may have run a mile ! and in this case I mean the Bar Mitzvah  - as the same could apply to our marriage or our adventures as parents thus far ! 

So I really want to express my deep Gratitude and Love and it flows in 4 directions  

Joshua – my son, you have honoured yourself today and I am so proud of you.

I want you to remember this moment.  But more than anything I want Thank you for your conscious decision to be Bar Mitzvah’d .  This came from your heart and it was difficult.  You couldn’t have known how important a journey it would become not just for you but for our family .   It has been a time of great learning for you and I want you to know that there were benefits – felt deeply up and down the ancestral line – as a result of you making a decision to do something that you didn’t fully understand at the time .  This is what happens when you follow your heart and it is GOOD!  I love you , I am proud of you and I thank you for gifting us all with this experience.  Like you said in your Drosha your journey of exploration is just beginning and may you always pursue it with an open heart.    

You have come of age this morning but to me you will always be my little boy … even when you grow taller and cleverer and your dreams take you far and wide – I will always honour and protect the innocent perfect child inside you  , and as you grow into a man I will remind you of the beauty and light inside you , of the confidence you showed here today ,  always be true to yourself – show humility, generosity and compassion every day and be kind to yourself.

And now in the opposite direction , where a deep well of pride also resides.  To my father i say thank you for your courage to remember and to join your grandson on the bima .    What you did by joining him caused some great cosmic re-ordering !

A circle has been completed, there has been great healing up the ancestral line and down it  and I know this to be true as its been happening inside me thru this whole process – a kind of re-calibration in the family story – of bringing fragments back into unity

     

I am so happy seeing you step into your birthright .  You are not a side actor in this – I want you to feel this moment, own it , YOU are the Patriarch of our family , and your wife stands next you our Matriarch – you have both sacrificed a lot and I want you to be proud today and revel in the story you have woven.  Look at your grandson -  look at your grand daughters.. look at yourselves… I love you

 

And the next direction for my gratitude is inward and this is the most difficult one for me to acknowledge –  but it is so important for me to thank myself , to honour myself as this is what I want to teach my son – I must start with myself.  What we do for ourselves we do for All !

So I am grateful to Myself,  for allowing this experience in , for having faith , for listening to MY heart.   I have done Good, I am good enough , and what I have co-created today with my family has been Amazing.

It has been so challenging and so often out of my comfort zone … Joshua’s decision two years coincided with the beginning of a very big shift for me out of old programmes that kept me from stepping into my own birthright and living at my full creative potential.

It began as a technical operation to do what was prescribed but it grew into a spiritual evolution , an upgrading of my Jewish identity into a bridge back to Source and on a more practical level to finally find a place to house all the fragmented jewish experiences of my family that we could never quite reconcile within ourselves .   Amazing how one boy studying Torah can do all that !  But its because when you look at it mystically , like I do , you see these ancient texts as codes that unlock all sorts of wonderful potentials as they are read and released.

This is being jewish to me - honouring the ancient foundations while co-creating a new earth together , and letting our children be guiding lights 

So by thanking myself I naturally thank you all too – as we are One – a rainbow tribe that comes together  because of energies that we cannot see or understand  - those 12 tribes of the Israelites that then got dispersed into the whole world is a metaphor for all of us 

And the fourth direction is outward into the universe , to God, to source to Life itself – for putting me on this path that crosses all your paths and for bringing such deep wisdom and healing into our lives.   The Hebrew bible says Seek and Ye Shall Find and whether its thru deep suffering or great joy, I find again and again and for that I am grateful .

JOSHUAs DROSHA

 Introduction  

Today's Sidra is Emor , part of the Book of Leviticus, and I am reading chapter 23, verses 1-20 

Like nearly all of the book of Leviticus, the setting of this portion is in the Isrealite camp in the Sinai wilderness.  In those days religious worship was performed through sacrifice but it had to be performed properly, otherwise it could lead to disaster, so only the priests were allowed to do this.   I will be reading the rules regarding Shabbat and the festival sacrifices together with the rules concerning the Priests' conduct. 

  

Its interesting that I am here today enjoying the experience of sharing my BarMitzvah with my mum, dad, family, friends and congregation in this synagogue which in recent months has been so welcoming to me, and has aided me on the path to my bar mitsvah through communal services.  I especially loved participating in the service’s Hebrew songs and prayers.  

  

But this has not been my normal experience or how I came to feel my Jewishness leading up to my wish to be Bar Mitzvah'd .  Thats at home with my family. We currently living in Ibiza (a small island with no synagogue).  But in our home we keep Sabbath, Pesach and other festivals and these are the things that have helped me arrive at this moment. So its interesting that my Sidra is all about parallel themes: The rules of keeping Shabbat (day of Rest) and Pesach (the Passover Festival) and how priests should conduct their Rememberances. 

  

Even though this is the home synagogue of my dad, my uncle and their parents, I have never been part of a shul or attended Chedar.  Despite this, I still followed Jewish festivals and rituals. Something inside me just sparked. And that was that and here we are ! 

My first memory of feeling Jewish is celebrating Passover in my early childhood home in Hertforshire when i was 3 years old. 

To this day Passover is my favourite festival and has given me many different experiences every time we've re-told the story of the Exodus in Egypt at various Sedars  

In Passover there are lots of interesting activities like looking for the Afikomen (the hidden matza) , dutifully refraining from eating bread , singing songs like Dayenu, dipping your finger in the wine to remember the Plagues, shouting for Elijah and drinking 4 cups of wine (this aspect of the service is very familiar to our friends in Ibiza!) 

My family and I have been part of Sedars in lots of different locations.  However the ones in Ibiza are unique and have not just been a family event but have become a hot ticket for our friends there ! Celebrating freedom and performing sacred rituals is something that feels at home in Ibiza.  

Our sedar table welcomes people from all faiths and walks of life including Christians, Rastafarians, Buddishts, undefined Seekers - but no matter who they are they are all very hungry people by the time we've conducted the ceremony and are ready to eat !  Such a variety of people always create memorable moments.  We always try to make the bitter herbs (a symbol of suffering slaves) super hot to bring tears to guests eyes, but a couple years ago, one guest decided to take her suffering to the next level !  I won't name any names, Mitch - but boy did you scream when u sat on that wasp ! You felt the sting more than the rest of us that year ! 

For our family , practicing our Jewish traditions has in a way been defined by inclusion of non-jewish friends -   both for our Sabbath dinners most friday nights and for passover -  for us it has always been natural to share with our diverse community, and its what helps make the practice of judaism and the messages in the hebrew bible - accessible and universal for all , while respecting its ancient roots.   It is the essence of the rituals, and what they mean that brings people together.  

Once I started doing research on how these festivals were practiced around the world, I was not surpised to find that we were in good company when it comes to adapting traditions to suit your environment !  It seems that this is a very Jewish trait indeed ! 

For example , during Pesach , Ethiopian Jews destroy their dishes and cookware and make new ones to signify their hope for redemption .  

In  some  Polish towns - families re-enact the crossing of the red sea by pouring water on the floor , lifting their coats, and walking across with a raised glass  giving  thanks. 

  

Nepal holds the largest celebrations of Passover in Khatmandu called Sedar on Top of hte World attended by local jews and travellers  

Argentinian Sedars include local delicacies alboudeas des papas - potatoe meatballs but also celebrate at a different time of year to the the rest of south America because they are in the sourthern hemisphere . 

Interestingly , in italian jewish tradition the holy sedar plate is placed on a child's head and then turned around for everyone to glance through .  Italy also likes to put their own twists on traditional sedar meals such as eating matza lasagne,  anyone getting hungry ? 

What all these gatherings around the world have in common is exercising their freedom by adapting the traditions to suit their cultures and social circumstances .  However there are still places where freedom is being fought for and so in these communites, the  Passover brings prayers for redemption ... and we too take time during our Sedars to remember those still enslaved in various forms.    While my dad's side of the family practiced their faith freely and helped set up new congregations and expand the Jewish community here in the UK, my mother's side had to hide their faith behind the Iron Curtain of the Soviet Union and this is why my grandpa is here to today in part to celebrate his freedom to be Jewish without fear of persecution.  

There is so much difference in perspective , and debate and disagreement is a big part of what makes Judaism so vibrant and fun 

It is also why there can be many ways of interpreting these ancient texts of the torah ... For my Bar Mitzvah I have thought about what my reading means to me in this modern time, and what the essence of the passage as well as trying to research its historical meaning .  

A few main themes seem to be the focus of this portion:  

Celebrating sacred occasions at appropriate times in an appropriate way 

Honouring the Sabbath  

Passover 

Bringing sacrifice  

Offering First grains and ears.  

Preparations of the Priest  

This the first time we are organising as a people and we are being given very clear instructions for setting cummunal life at the centre of which is God 

Our ancestors were the first to live in a Covenant with their God and so were learning to relate to God through ritual and obedience … It was important to work but also to rest and to to put aside their harvest for offerings and for the poor among them .  

•  They were not to partake of the first of their harvest before honouring God  
• Passover was a very important festival to remember how they attained their freedom and became a great people , that keeping these rituals was one way to ensre their survival . 

 Priests had a very important role to play they were chosen to be of service to their community and be a bridge to God, to be prepared and pure and conduct themselves properly. 

Sacrifices were very particular and had to be prepared properly , all these things were very precise – an road map for becoming a Jewish nation and full of symbols and hidden meanings that we can use in the modern time .   

For example,  

what sacrifice means - the time we take to be grateful ,  what we give up for God and for our community , what I gave up (so many football games , sleepover parties, and days of school ... well maybe that last one wasn't too big a sacrifice 🙂  

Some of the versus were harder to identify with in my life than others, like how could I identify with the Priest in the reading? 

Well he had to match fit and prepare alot to lead his community  

I cant just rock up to a match without practice !  there were ways of doing this things that would be a form of learning and growing thru repetition  

And a bar mitzvah is about being allowed to do the same thing , to participate in Synagogue religious life  

All my study is about Preparation and then i'm allowed to read directly from the Scroll which feels authentic and connected and classy 

It has been an exercise in mental fitness,   like in football trying to learm from coaches - to honour being Jewish, i guess is similar to priests having to focus on getting their rituals right to honour their relationship with their God .  

what does the temple signify - our homes or perhaps our bodies - are we being taught to take care of our bodies and especially our spirits , to offer the best fruits of our harvest, the best of who we are to our Creator or to whatever force we believe to be greater than ourselves, or even or own higher selves? 

This Torah portion directly connects tot he Haftorah portion which comes from the books of the prophets - today it is Ezekial. chapter 44, 15-31 

The Prophet Ezekiel had been a priest in the temple in jerusalem before it was destroyed by the babylonians . He described the duties which the priests would have to perform when a new temple would be built 

they mainly referred to the Purity of the priests.  

this can be symbolic to how we treat oursleves, conduct ourselves and the different rituals we perform and adhere to identify with divine commandements and principles  

Ritual purification of priests is not unique to the ancient Jews , it is a big part of the leadership of many religions and we can see it the ancient religions that came before the Hebrew Bible , such as the Egyptian practices , where priests were like Gods  

while for the Israelites the priests were their link to God  

and in modern times we are called to purify ourselves so we can have spritual experiences.  

I saw this myself recently on a trip to Egypt where we saw so many hieroglyphics depicting ancient priestly rituals , that some scholars say influenced our own practices.  

Can this be one way of weaving in your trip to Egypt?   

For me travel is another way that Judaism has come alive  

My parents took me to Egypt just before I turned 13 where I'd only heard about mainly thru the Exodus story until it came alive on the walls of temples , which were built very similar to Solomon's Temple , who would have had that knowledge passed down from the Egyptians  

 There were some interesting connections and the trip was physically challenging too but some of what I was seeing and feeling was confusing and there lots of mysteries 

Likehow they knew the future and how the pyramids were built … it inspired me to learn more about our ancient past. 

I felt a jewish connection with the Moses story, the Mary and Jesus story as they hid in Cairo  

ancient temple life coming alive - lots of similarities to what we know of Temple life in the Torah - for example, sacrificies, rituals, Holy of Holieis, purity of priests.  

Or India where we saw a very old synagogue in Kerala and it was clear there was no steretype for looking or being Jewish.  

and Israel where I learned so much in just a few days by visiting the Diaspora museum and Jerusalem and Tsafed .  It was also revealing to be in a country where Jewish was a majority not a minority . 

Also Warsaw where we learnt alot about the history of eastern european jews and my own ancestry  

and of course Nottingham where we met the friendliest Jews around : )  

So the rules the rituals the learning exploring – so many ways to learn and understand being Jewish – like that first tribe of Israelites figuring out who they were and how to relate to God , I am just beginning my exploration and adventures in being Jewish and being a Man.  

The BAR MITZVAH PROGRAMME

Welcome to B’nai Mitzvah of Joshua Kostya Levy  & Gary Shapp ! 

Bar Mitzvah literally translates to Son of Commandments 

After 13, a Jewish boy can participate in Religious Ceremony and do ‘mitzvot’ - good deeds -  

and though not yet an adult – can be held accountable for his 

actions and deeds. 

The term Bar Mitzvah also describes the sacred ritual of Reading from the Hebrew Torah Scroll and it refers to the celebration that is held afterwards . 

A Bar Mitzvah can be performed any time after age 13 (12 for girls Bat Mitzvah) and a late in life Bar Mitzvah for an adult takes on a different significance – one that comes from the participants own past and experiences. 

The Kippa is a head covering traditionally worn when in Synagogue and you have a commemorative option made by us to remember the day. 

Please wear on your head during the service and feel free to keep it afterwards. 

The Ceremony 

We will follow the service in the Liberal Jewish Prayer Book (Siddur Lev Chadash) 

Joshua has chosen to lead us through Service no. 3 which starts on page 117. 

The pages go right to left in line with the Hebrew text – Joshua alternates between Hebrew and English – 

when its in Hebrew you can read the translation on the left. We will be lead through Morning Blessings, 

Songs of Praise and the Sh’ma and Its Blessings . 

The most important prayer in the service is called the Shema – here is the transliteration 

Shema Yisrael ,  Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Echad 

Hear Oh Israel , the Lord your God is One 

Next is the Amidah which is quiet time for Personal Meditation and Prayer 

And then the we come to the Reading of the Torah, the most sacred part of the service when Joshua and Gary 

are called to do their Readings and Commentaries. 

They read from the Torah Scroll in Hebrew and then follow with the English Translation.  The Haftorah 

(Books of the Prophets) is read in English and both give ‘Drosha’s’–  commentary on their readings. 

Each Sabbath covers a certain portion of the Torah, taking one full year to read through all it so the choice of reading is automatically assigned according to the date one chooses for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The portion today is Leviticus 23 v 1-20 for Joshua & v 21-22 for Gary. 

Both Gary and Joshua prepared ‘Droshas’ which are meant to be commentaries on their Torah portions but can also be linked back to their own experiences in their journey to this moment , looking for ways in which their readings may relate to their lives today 

Late in Life Bar Mitzvah have been common in recent decades as men and women in their older years either convert or decide to reverse a decision they made as a child or that would have been made for them through prohibition of religion as in the case of Joshua’s Grandad 

The Torah is treated with honour – and is Undressed and Dressed and paraded around the room – we all face in its direction and sing special songs of praise 

for the gift of the Scroll… 

Once the Ark is closed we finish the service with concluding prayers including Kaddish which is beautiful psalm in memory of those dearly 

departed in our community 

We will also sing a few songs including one of Joshua’s favourites 

*** 

Concluding Prayer 

Written by Irina Levy 

Thank you Eternal God for bringing us all together to participate in this beautiful Jewish ceremony -  one that has brought together people from so many walks of life and faiths - may the unified field of blessing we have created around Gary and Joshua seed in each of us a new Divine Spark so that we may all bring ‘Shekinah’ to ourselves, our homes, our communities and our world . 

May we all be the change for peace and love that we want to see in our world and may the joy and happiness we feel today sustain us in many moments. 

May Your light and love guide us always . 

We honour ourselves and in so doing honour Life itself.  Amen 

*** 

After the Service we have Kiddush:   traditional blessing of wine and bread followed by drinks 

and nibbles hosted by Joshua’s grandparents Jenny, Natalie and Gary and prepared

 by the Shul Ladies Guild